LUCKY ME!
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Gosh, I'm so lucky! I've had this lovely letter from some delightful people in Spain telling me that I've won thousands of pounds in a sweepstake. Such good fortune! Of course, they can't send me the money, and I can't go and get it, and anyway they want 10% of the prize for being so nice in telling me I've won. Well, that all seems perfectly reasonable to me. And they do say that, once I have my prize, I'm expected to take part in their end of Year high Stake. No problem, whatever it means. How good of them to allow me to be part of the INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAMS (or PROGRAMME), without even telling me what they are promoting. I suppose some bad English and convoluted instructions are to be expected from such a respected institution. I look forward to giving them all my bank and family details as I can't wait to be sunning it in Barbados. Lucky me. I've just noticed that the letter is not personalised, and, in spite of all those reference numbers and batch numbers, does not include my name. Probably not important. I've just noticed that the envelope was addressed to my dear father, who died nine years ago. Probably not important. I've just noticed that the letter asks me to keep this award top secret from public notice. Oh, sorry. Disregard what you've just read.
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