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Welcome to Colchester Living near Twickenham, it's convenient to have a local tax office just opposite Twickenham railway station. Ah, but there's a snag, because my tax affairs come under the jurisdiction of the Cornwall & Plymouth Area. And where do you think the Cornwall and Plymouth Area revenue officers are based? Newcastle Upon Tyne, of course. UPDATE. I now come under the Tees Valley Area, and my tax affairs are currently dealt with at Thornaby in Stockton-on-Tees. Great advice from British Gas concerning the late payment charge which they plan to impose on bills paid late. In a leaflet they sent with my latest bill they have a section headed: What can I do to avoid the late payment charge? Their answer: Pay your bill in time. And they add: However, if you think you may forget we recommend that you pay your bill as soon as you receive it. Difficult to get my head round all this complex information, but I'll try. Well done to Fulham for the improvements they've made to our Craven Cottage ground. But I'm a bit worried about the well-meaning signs put up all over the place saying COME ON YOU WHITES. I feel they're missing the vocative. I am reliably informed that the words COME ON YOU WHITES are likely to be construed as the title of a porn film. (I could check with Dirk Lehman, our former 'porn star'.) The phrase is really made up of an exhortation (COME ON) and the recipients of the exhortation (YOU WHITES). From my schooldays and grammar books, I believe that makes YOU WHITES to be in the vocative case, and I think such vocatives should be separated by a comma. So… COME ON, YOU WHITES. I'm pretty sure that COYW is still acceptable in fans' messageboards, and that CO,YW is not necessary. What do you think? (If you're going to call me stupid names, please put them in the vocative case…)
We have lovely new trains running from Whitton to London. Unfortunately not all passengers are up to standard. Feet on seats, hissing music in ears, on the phone ('I'm on the train…'). Were he also eating a smelly burger and chips, this chap would have a full set of 'Blow you, Jack' attributes.
Do you really think that there was a saint called Margarets? The picture below was taken at St Margarets station. Looks like the 2012 logo designers were trying out some ideas.
And why, in Heaven's name, haven't we got to grips with graffiti. Why do we allow it to deface our daily life? It is a symptom of a society that has no leadership. What do we do about it? Well, we prosecute little shopkeepers who sell spray paint to young thugs. That'll put the fear of God into the graffiti sprayers, won't it? Typical government solution. Don't tackle the problem, just hit the innocent. I have a theory (another one) about the 2012 logo. As visitors to the Games are whisked by train into London, what will they see when they look out the window? Why, graffiti everywhere, all along the track. And the visitors will think how clever those Londoners are to spray variations of the 2012 logo everywhere throughout their city.
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